I decided to leave sahaja yoga in 2005, with the feeling that something had gone totally wrong and with no answer to my questions. I was mentally and emotionally confused, suffering from fear and feelings of guilt. Going against my own feelings and convictions over so many years had separated me from myself and destroyed my personality, my qualities as a woman and mother.
After leaving I grew stronger in my inner relation to Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi. I was shocked to see in the next years that something awful is going to happen to Mother, but nobody was telling the truth.
In July 2013 by chance I saw an advertisement on the internet about a book by Nick Burrin: “Beyond all doubt is Jerusalem the Golden City”. I was deeply impressed by Nick`s realisations and experiences with Shri Mataji as described in the book and I could feel that there is a vision for my own life.
In June 2015 I met Nick Burrin in person for the first time in a meeting in England. I was deeply touched how Nick was sharing with us His realisations and experiences with Shri Mataji.
Over the last four years many meetings and more books followed and I changed from a confused and unhappy person to somebody who feels normal and happy with my Self. With Nick`s help I found the answers I was seeking for. And finally I found the truth about what happened to Shri Mataji in sahaja yoga. Knowing the truth has totally changed my relationship with myself, with the world and with God. I left my past behind and came to find the purpose of my life.