I first went to a sahaja yoga meeting when I was 15.
I saw Shri Mataji for the first time in Budapest when after the program, Shri Mataji would meet people on stage and talk to them and I so much wanted to join them but we were seated at the back and my mother wouldn’t go and so I didn’t have the courage to go on my own.
On one or two occasions afterwards I was supposed to attend to Shri Mataji as a doctor but never really got the chance to be close to Mother in any way.
As time passed, I would feel more and more frustrated with what was going on in sahaja yoga and even tried many times to tell everyone that they were wrong but nobody would listen and things were going from bad to worse and this became more and more obvious as time passed.
When I was helping organise events in sahaja yoga, I started feeling in my heart that this was really not what Shri Mataji wanted me to do. This was in contradiction with the ideas in sahaja yoga that you have to help and be active and “spread sahaja yoga” but definitely it was a real feeling, true and clear in my heart but why?
The way Shri Mataji was treated in sahaja yoga was unbelievably painful to watch and this happened over so many years and it’s still so hard to comprehend. Shri Mataji was given a Risperidone, a sedative drug, so that Mother could not function normally and I remember how everyone was commenting on how Mother was not reacting in situations that anybody would normally react, for example when Mother’s great granddaughter was brought in front of Mother when we were in Pratishtan. It all went to such an extent that doctors were discussing the possibility of a diagnosis of dementia. How can anyone utter such a thing... it is so painful to remember. What can be more explicit in the way we all treated Shri Mataji ? Unless we are all sincere enough in our hearts to admit our mistakes yet again and ask for forgiveness, we will never be able to understand Shri Mataji's life in the least and this would be so sad. The way Nick Burrin realised how Shri Mataji was treated helped me also realise it was right to feel angry at the deception at the time. Mother was in human form and Mother was feeling everything a million times more than any human being would have felt. We thought that because Mother was God, it didn’t matter but we were so wrong, so wrong. Then we put Mother’s husband on stage at puja and we bowed to him. How could we have been so stupid... and all of us are the same and nobody is better than anybody else. Thank God... for giving me the chance to understand and repent for this and thank God for the opportunity to meet Nick Burrin. No words can express my gratitude.
I read Beyond all Doubt is Jerusalem The Golden City when a friend from Scotland handed it over to me in 2011. I finished it on 8th of March 2012 and the next day spoke to Nick Burrin for the first time. Nick told me that I should read The Absolute but that I would be shocked when reading it because it wouldn’t be what I expected. It’s an amazing book and I started to finally understand more clearly what was going on in sahaja yoga which truly is shocking still.
I met Nick Burrin for the first time on 10th of May 2015.
I started working on myself every day as Nick Burrin describes in his books and slowly I started to change. When I think, now at least I am aware of what I’m thinking and I’m able to stop the thinking now.
I was there at Nick Burrin’s first public meeting on 20th of June 2015. Nick spent 4 hours talking to us and it was truly amazing as Nick can be so funny sometimes, so normal.
Lately I discovered that if I manage to just watch Nick without thinking, the results are amazing and they last for many days. I feel empowered in a way hard to describe. I feel a lot more confident now and I feel that everything that’s really important in my life goes on inside myself and nothing that’s outside of it has any importance or significance at all.
I feel happy wherever I am and especially I do not depend on other people ,such as my family or friends which for me is quite something. I stop and feel what I should do when I need to make a decision and I love myself more. Nick Burrin helped me understand that without loving myself I have no chance to get to know myself in fact.
If I was to describe every aspect of my life that Nick helped me with, I would need to write on many pages.
Nick helped me get a very good job when I was without hope in that respect. Nick helped me understand who to trust who not to trust. Nick helped me get a beautiful flat and trust myself in making it as I wanted so I would truly enjoy my home and entertain friends too.
Nick especially helped me understand my relationship with my birth family and my mother especially. If every human being in the world would understand this for themselves, then people would be so much more free to become themselves and the world would be a different place.
Nick helped me understand the national and world political situation which Nick so closely follows and that is so incredibly exciting to watch together. I mean life was never as exciting as it is now, I have to say.
There was no way I would have become what I am now without Nick Burrin.
Of course Shri Mataji explained to us before about these things but Mother also warned us that Mother’s work would be destroyed as Mother allowed the negativity to take over so that it would become so obvious to us that we would extract ourselves from it.
I don’t know how but Nick Burrin truly recreates the beautiful, amazing atmosphere that Mother was creating around Mother and now spending time with Nick feels out of this world.
The story that’s unfolding is just as Mother described, without precedent in the history of humanity. I am still in awe when I realise how big this truly is and how together with Nick on a very low key, we are actually changing the world... What dream more precious could anybody have.
I could never have believed that life can be so simple yet so very enjoyable.
Nick thank You so much for everything You do for all of us and may this beautiful story unfold for many, many years to come.