The time Nick Burrin spent with Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi
Please read the excerpts from my books about my experiences with Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi below:
I first met Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi in 1989. I became very close to Mother and I used to go to Mother's apartments at Stafford Mansions and take Mother shopping. I also spent a lot of time at Shudy Camps and also all the early pujas at Cabella. Shri Mataji would send me shopping lists to bring food, Indian spices and rice to every Puja, from England.
For 5 years, I traveled with Shri Mataji to Austria, India, Russia, Italy, France, Romania and Switzerland. Mother made me India tour leader three years running and also took me to Russia on the first three amazing visits. I spent as much time as I could by Shri Mataji's side listening to Mother's every word, seeing how Mother worked on people and dealt with people's lives. In 1992, Shri Mataji said to me that I should go off and meditate on my own and if I did that I would realise all the truth about everything.
In 1993, I left Shri Mataji's side and started to meditate on my own. In the spring and summer of 1994, I had these most incredible realisations and experiences. I recorded these realisations live and created the book So Daisy's Really are Made in Heaven, which I presented to Shri Mataji in front of 500 sahaja yogis at Heathrow Airport. Mother took time to read from the book and then said to me, 'At last not someone writing about sahaja yoga but writing about God. All the words, in all the books, in all of the libraries of the world, cannot describe what you have seen. Mother then held the book up and said, ' This book will be published.'
Mother kept the book for many years. In 2010, I finally self-published So Daisy's Really are Made in Heaven and I went on to write 6 further books, all dedicated to the truth of Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi's life.
My only Desire is for everyone to know and understand the truth about Shri Mataji's life and to become happier. If you read my books you will grow tremendously, as all we have ever wanted is to know and understand the truth, and only the truth.
So Daisy’s Really Are Made In Heaven
Chapter 5, Peace.
I decided it might be a good idea to leave London, to get away, to go somewhere remote. I decided on Southern Spain: the Sierra Nevada, a beautiful mountain range. I found through some friends a small farm cottage made out of stone. Abi and I drove to Manchester and flew to Spain.
On the flight, I wondered if my experiences would be different. I needed some time to quietly reflect on what was happening to me.
Sitting in the mountains, after a brief thunderstorm, a vision came to me that whoever reads these words, I would humbly request they light a candle in their homes. To bow their heads to the candle, so that they would know that the candle flame is the light of their own spirit. By bowing to the flame they would enlighten their spirit, and it would breed a new sense of honour and growth with humility throughout the land. People would then feel the Holy Ghost, the love of God. This soothing wind or cool breeze of the mountain range would enter their lives and they would realise love in their hearts.
I felt somehow that people could spontaneously receive their realisation from these words, to bring enlightenment without questioning. The spirit within us is the flame of the human being. It is important to bow to that flame, unconsciously acknowledging our spirit.
Beyond All Doubt is Jerusalem The Golden City
Excerpt from Chapter 15, Beyond All Doubt Is Jerusalem The Golden City.
1am, later that evening in the hotel lobby
There’s something very sort of primordial about this whole lounge area in this hotel. Every chair is filled with a God or Deity of some description and it’s as if it’s Heaven. I seem to be wearing that Crown again and They seem to be pleased to have me here. And God, when I used to meditate, I used to feel I was holding the world in my hands, and for some reason that has come back to me right now. It’s as if I have the world in my hand and it just feels, I feel like I can’t move, I can’t think. My Sahasrara is really opening out and there’s this huge Angel with this enormous sword that seems to be protecting me at the moment. When we were walking tonight the trees turned into swords and holding the swords were these huge Angels and one of Them is standing right behind me now.
Then all of a sudden there is a Puja happening. Mother is down at this end of the room and everybody is standing up and singing the Arti. (Abi says, Can you hear the music.) They’re singing the Arti.
Lots of things are happening now, people are moving around as if something important has happened, there’s a lot of activity. (Abi says, Can you tell me about the Garden of Eden.) It’s a bigger subject.
I don’t know really quite what happens, but I seem to be able to project Mother or my attention or both or something into different places. I was just thinking of Sean, and Shri Mataji is normally sitting in his sitting room, slightly to the right on his sofa. When I think of him or his house, Shri Mataji is always sitting there in the same position on his sofa. Then I just suddenly thought, I wonder how Sean is, suddenly he was sitting in the chair here with us. And what’s really strange is he is acknowledging me. And now Gary’s here and they’re talking to one another and they are acknowledging me. (Abi says, Can you speak to them.) I don’t know, I don’t know if I really want to, it’s not that I don’t want to, I’m just not quite sure what to say. I’ve just acknowledged them.
The ceiling opens up into Heaven and Mother’s face comes peering down covering the whole ceiling, the whole ceiling is Mother’s face. Now Mother is sitting in front of us in many different forms, Mother’s young, Mother’s staying young, Mother is like a teenager, lots of joy, sort of innocent, joy of a teenager who has come to sit with friends. Now suddenly, Mother is in the form of Shri Mataji, and I’m going to ask Mother to help me not have any doubts and not to worry about what I see and feel and that I just have to accept it now. I want to accept it, I’m dying to accept, but I still keep worrying and doubting it and thinking people won’t understand, so I can’t say it. Mother is trying to tell me something, but I can’t quite understand what. Mother is shaking Mother’s finger at me, telling me not to doubt, that I have no doubt. Now Mother is young again, happens very quickly, and now Mother is going to go. Some Angels came and talked to Mother very quickly and it happens like a split second, talk and then Mother’s gone. Mother’s saying, carry on without me now… okay. Mother said to me Mother saw that doubt in my face and Mother said to take it away, don’t do it anymore, and it’s now gone quieter. Mother’s now back again, and I’m going to say yes.
I’m going to ask Mother if I can go deeper, if I can understand a bit more, and ask for more information, more inspiration, Divine Inspiration. Now, for some reason, I seem to be changing. (Abi says, There are two stages of changing, one I recognised before, something much deeper, his eyes went coal black, his profile fuzzy with vibrations.) I am now a part of Mother but a different part, a part I have never been before, so Mother, please take me even deeper. There is a sort of a huge way forward.
(Return to written notes...)
I am bowing at Shri Mataji’s Feet. I just want to feel humble right now. I am going to ask Shri Mataji for some Divine inspiration, once again to take me deeper into this beautiful world, Heaven on Earth. Mother is asking Nick, is he ready. I am Mother. I want to go deeper and I desire to be more effective to help Your Will, to do whatever I possibly can to strengthen my belief, my faith, my love for You, Shri Mataji. (Abi says, The vibrations are strong now.) Nick’s Kundalini came up in a way he’s never felt before, but he actually resisted, but he actually thought that he was going to completely go. All I can feel are strong vibrations and I feel Shri Mataji is working on the whole hotel, the whole of Malaga and now even the whole of Spain. I desire Shri Mataji to take me deeper again and think the last experience of my Kundalini coming up stronger is perhaps giving me new powers that will give me strength.
Heart’s opening, I can see the whole Universe in my heart, I can’t see anymore, room’s disappeared. We’re not here, can’t explain it, ceiling’s opening up into Heaven. Something is happening to my Centre Heart, it’s opening up, asked Shri Mataji to be fearless, for strength, not to be frightened or worried, to feel happy being back in this state, feels like I haven’t been here for some time. It’s been a big day now, goes to show, to prove, that we have to mix and be with people and enjoy the human race. After all, it’s God’s creation.
(Abi says, My heart opened up completely now and then I saw on Nick a change.)
Suddenly Shri Mataji leaves the chair and fills the whole room, the space is filled with Mother. This is a primordial experience, it’s above every aspect of human awareness. Desire, fill your heart with love, feel the ocean of nectar, beyond all doubt is Jerusalem, the Golden City. (Abi says, Nick is changing again, his face didn’t look human.) Mother is asking Nick to fly with Mother. I sort of feel like I’m doing it, I feel as if I’m travelling around the world, everything is about desire. But actually in this state I’m finding it difficult to desire. It’s as though I’ve gone beyond desire, normal awareness, into a totally new awareness where my perceptions and senses are definitely very different. So once again, I desire to go deeper. And I’m actually now inside Mother and I’m going into Mother’s soul, can’t describe what’s happening. I’m going to ask Mother to take me deeper, Mother please take me with You. I can’t seem to do it though, there is an ounce of fear and the fear I can’t come back. Mother says, “Trust Me.” So Mother, should I come with You. I’ve gone. So Mother, I request to come with You again, I’m ready.
(Abi says, Nick is changing, like a warrior, I see strength, enormous strength.)
I went out through my Sahasrara a little way as though on a short journey, a new journey I’ve never experienced before. Then I went on another journey in the opposite direction, into myself as though I was part of the Earth, went to the centre of the Earth, something that went on and on inside myself, felt like the Earth. I feel like I want to stay in this state forever, perhaps. Perhaps because it’s so new I want to come out of it. I suddenly feel there are new powers, don’t know what they are though. I feel that all my Chakras are spinning very fast and I feel cleared out and light-hearted and cleansed all over. I don’t feel like I have any superego or ego. I am weightless in weightlessness, in a new time of space and energy.
I feel I want to ask Mother more questions about what I should do, or shouldn’t do, is there anything You’d like me to do. Mother said, “Call Me, phone Me or keep calling Me.” I think Mother means phone Me, for some reason. This new state is total reality, all the Gods and Deities exist and the Gods are there to help us, and I think I can also feel realised souls, or perhaps people wanting to take their birth, who are seated around Shri Mataji now. I am sure Shri Ganesha has come and sat out next to Mother, out of my Mooladhara Chakra, and wants me to dance with Him and play. I feel like playing so we’re actually dancing around the room holding hands. I ask Shri Mataji to clear my Agnya and the Agnya of Spain. Gosh, all I can feel is a new awareness so heightened I could hear a pin drop in France. I feel part of Shri Mataji’s body and I desire to be in Mother’s Heart. Mother’s Heart opens and I step into it, suddenly my Kundalini is really pushing into my stomach with a force I’ve never felt before. I ask Shri Mataji to help, this is the deepest experience, asking to go into a higher awareness, and I’m going now into a higher awareness. I feel like I don’t really exist and that my voice isn’t mine. Perhaps it’s good that the lights are not on. Should I carry on… I feel absolutely wonderful, I feel like I’m in a dream in a way. I feel a lovely warm soothing feeling in my stomach, soothed by the Kundalini, cool breeze blasting out of my head. (Abi says, I couldn’t see your face for a moment.)
I asked Shri Mataji if I was part of Mother and Mother said, can’t remember, I’ll ask Mother again, in other words. Mother’s manifesting, my Kundalini is Mother but it is manifesting in a big way. I feel as if I’m split in half. Huge fountain coming out of me, I can’t feel my head, the weight of anything, but at the same time I feel enormously powerful. I feel as though I’ve actually got there. I feel I’ve achieved a new state of Realisation, but of course I have to say I’d like to go deeper, to go with You, Mother, to go everywhere with You, to go... (Abi says, He’s gone now, now he really is changing.) I am now Mother completely. (Abi says, His whole face is formless, he’s enormous as if he’s expanding outwardly.) My face is changing into Mother’s, I have Mother’s hair, Mother’s hands. I am definitely Mother, can’t swallow at all, and now feel like I’m changing into every single Deity, every Chakra is popping, my whole chest is expanding. Once again, I’m going to ask for a bit more. I desire to feel You more, Mother, to understand You more, Mother, I want to be You, I want to be with You forever, I surrender to You in totality, I give up everything.
I feel like staying in this state forever, but at the same time I realise Mother needs me to be a normal human being. I really don’t feel very human at the moment. (Abi says, Nick has changed unbelievably.) No more doubts, how can I have doubts now. We’re just children lost and all we really want to do is to be in our Mother’s arms again, but we don’t know how to get there so we put on the face of seriousness. So I have to be here to fulfil this job that is to spread the Word, the Love of the Divine, and to experience Divinity beyond a shadow of a doubt, to express the Divine makeup to mankind, to help. (Abi says, Something very ancient about Nick’s face, not a face, but a power, can’t really describe it.)
The porter comes into the lounge and is wandering from table to table, switching off the lights. He turns out the light by our table and we are plunged into darkness, as if we are not there.
The next morning, I awoke from a beautiful sleep and we decided after breakfast to find the beach in Malaga. We spent a very enjoyable day watching the Spanish children playing in the water, and after lunch we decided to go back to the hotel. As we got closer to the hotel I could see Mother standing on the roof, very still, silent. I wondered why Mother was actually on the roof, was it to show us where the hotel was.
Back in the room, Abi decided she wanted to sit on a sunny balcony, and so rang the reception to ask them if she could use another balcony. The receptionist replied, “Why don’t you use our lovely pool on the roof.” Abi screamed with joy and told me that there was a swimming pool on the roof after all. We both grabbed out towels and arrived on the roof of the hotel to find the most beautiful swimming pool with sunshades and lovely wicker chairs, with no one there but Mother and us.
We dived into the pool and realised that Mother does know everything.
Excerpt from Chapter 44, Direct Love.
14th June 2011, West Sussex.
What I’ve realised in my journey is that it’s my simple approach that has made my relationship with Mother so strong and so absolute. I have to say that I was so lucky and so privileged to meet Shri Mataji when Mother lived at Stafford Mansions, because I realised just how normal Mother is, was and always will be. There is no paraphernalia; there is no ritual. There is protocol, but not ritual. Mother’s household was straightforward, simple.
You would never know who lived in that house, except that you would know that an Indian family lived there. That’s what I have always tried to create, a very simple, direct approach to Mother, knowing the protocol in my heart, wanting Mother to be here with me, loving Mother, and wanting to feel and learn what realization is – what is our path, what is our true meaning? How can we love Mother and the Deities more and more from our heart?
Excerpt from Chapter 30, The Freedom Of Mother’s Love.
8th June 2012.
Mother says, “Although you don’t feel like you do very much, you give them love. You show that somebody cares, somebody accepts them.” And this is part of Mother’s Dream. There is no judgement. There’s just acceptance and understanding, wanting to share Mother, wanting to share the vibrations. From this moment, everything will change, because Mother’s Dream has started. It’s being created now and will be created, because that’s what we desire, and Mother will show us how Mother’s Dream is really going to take shape and is really going to work, and it’s going to work fast. So, there’s a lot to do!
I will not cease from heartfelt love
Nor shall my sword sleep in my hand
Till we have built Jerusalem
In Mother’s beautiful jewel, this sacred land.
I pray in my heart for Divine Inspiration
To lift us higher in self esteem
To unlock the shackles of our storm
Unite us in Love for one another’s needs
Open our hearts to feel our Mother’s Love
To bring us humbly home to our Mother’s Realm.
Allow Mother to shine with our spirits reborn
Of a new dawn for mankind
Bathed in a Divine Light so bright
To turn and face ourselves in Mother’s mirror of Eternal Life
I bow to You, Our Mother Supreme
I will not cease from heartfelt love
Nor shall my sword sleep in my hand
Until my arrows of desire have created my Mother’s Dream
Till we have built Jerusalem
In Mother’s beautiful jewel, which is Mother’s Dream.
Heaven Before Life And Life Before Heaven
Excerpt from Chapter 8, Abandonment.
Saturday 28th June 2014, West Sussex.
Total freedom is like swimming in the sea. That’s abandonment, when you’re swimming in the cold sea. Such a good word. Mother said it’s a word I need to use in this book, abandonment.
It also means the idea that Humanity is abandoned in existence and it must find its own meaning. So Mother gives me a word which describes what this book is about. Isn’t that amazing? An idea that Humanity is abandoned in existence and it must find its own meaning, meaning that we have lost our connection with God, which of course in Reality it’s not, but the ego makes us separate. So I need to describe this.
Abandonment in an emotional sense means undesired, left behind, insecure and discarded. So there are many meanings of this word that Mother wants me to realise. That’s what I’ve got to do, to make sure that people don’t feel like this. And the only way to cure this is through Love.
I have never said this in the previous books, but Mother will give me a word, and from that word I realise what it is I need to realise for everybody else, and also to make them happier and more secure. And this is a very typical example of how Mother uses the English language to help me find the exact meaning that Mother is looking for, of which sometimes there are many meanings.
So I would say that people feel like they need to find the meaning of their lives and many people within the system that Mother created, feel undesired, insecure, left behind and discarded. Of course, I am are here, and as Mother has said, Mother will get the books to the people that can understand them. So my desire is that people don’t feel abandoned anymore. I thank Mother for this beautiful way to show us how it works.
Excerpt from Chapter 34 Journey.
So, what I am going to say today is probably the most important words I have spoken. And although I have said these words within the books already, I want to make certain things very, very clear. And that is, Shri Mataji said to me in the autumn of 1992, “You need to go on your own and meditate and relate to Me and Me only and nothing else matters.”
I have said these words so many times within the books. In 1993, I left Mother’s side and I went off into the world on my own, with nothing, no job, no money, nowhere to live. All I took with me were a few personal belongings, my Black and White Photograph of Shri Mataji, my hand carved statue of Shri Ganesha. I took nothing with me from the past, no ornaments, no books, no clothes, no presents that I have been given by anyone. I knew in my heart, if I did what Mother had said, I would realise Mother and the Deities and myself.
One year later, after doing exactly what Mother had said, in the spring of 1994, whenever I desired, Mother would appear to me, as I have described within the books.
In the spring of 2007, Mother appeared to me and said, “You have to come and work for Me full-time.” From then on, Mother has appeared to me on a daily basis, and in 2010 I published So Daisy’s Really Are Made In Heaven, and then in 2011, I published Beyond All Doubt Is Jerusalem The Golden City, from the original recordings of the summer in 1994.
Excerpt from Chapter 13 My Birthday.
Saturday, 14th May 2016, West Sussex, England.
This is the day of my birthday.
Mother always shows me what has to come next. And for me, the feeling of what I feel right now is just immense, is incredible, it is the most beautiful feeling that anybody could ever wish for. The Deities are here and they are offering me presents, and this is what The Deities want, this is how The Deities want Me to be now. It is a step up for everybody and I know that everybody will accept it because they will want to, it’s harder for me to accept but I have to accept your love, because if I don’t, then what’s in store for us can’t manifest. I have to accept, and I felt Myself, My Feet, going into Mother’s sandals.
As I move forward, there is a gravity created and everybody will want to feel and become part of it. I have to walk forward now and take my position, but I have to accept the combination of Nick Burrin, of Myself and of Mother. As soon as I say this, once again, my Armies are on either side of me (Nick’s arms open to either side of him) and all the Deities are taking Their Place in my Sahasrara, as a Crown of Deities. Oh My God, I wondered why Mother wore a Crown. It should not be a crown that we created made out of jewels, it is the Crown of the Deities, that is a True Crown. I realise why I said that I am the King of my
being. Now there are hundreds of Angels, either side of me, it’s difficult to explain.