The time Nick Burrin spent with Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi

In 1993, I left Shri Mataji's side and started to meditate on my own. In the spring and summer of 1994, I had these most incredible realisations and experiences. I recorded these realisations live and created the book So Daisy's Really are Made in Heaven, which I presented to Shri Mataji in front of 500 sahaja yogis at Heathrow Airport. Mother took time to read from the book and then said to me, 'At last not someone writing about sahaja yoga but writing about God. All the words, in all the books, in all of the libraries of the world, cannot describe what you have seen.  Mother then held the book up and said, ' This book will be published.' 

​

Mother kept the book for many years. In 2010, I finally self-published So Daisy's Really are Made in Heaven and I went on to write 6 further books, all dedicated to the truth of Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi's life.

​

My only Desire is for everyone to know and understand the truth about Shri Mataji's life and to become happier. If you read my books you will grow tremendously, as all we have ever wanted is to know and understand the truth, and only the truth.

​

 

​

So Daisy’s Really Are Made In Heaven, Second Edition

​

Chapter 5, Peace.

​

I decided it might be a good idea to leave London, to get away, to go somewhere remote. I decided on Southern Spain, the Sierra Nevada, a beautiful mountain range. I found through some friends a small farm cottage made out of stone. Abi and I drove to Manchester and flew to Spain.

​

On the flight, I wondered if my experiences would be different. I needed some time to quietly reflect on what was happening to me.

​

Sitting in the mountains, after a brief thunderstorm, a vision came to me that whoever reads these words, I would humbly request they light a candle in their homes. To bow their heads to the candle, so they would know that the candle flame is the light of their own Spirit. By bowing to the flame, they would enlighten their Spirit, and it would breed a new sense of honour and growth with humility throughout the land. People would then feel The Holy Ghost, The Love of God. This soothing wind or cool breeze of the mountain range would enter their lives and they would realise love in their hearts.

​

I felt somehow that people could spontaneously receive their Realisation from these words, to bring enlightenment without questioning. The Spirit within us is the flame of the human being. It is important to bow to that flame, unconsciously acknowledging our Spirit.

 

 

Beyond All Doubt  is Jerusalem The Golden City, Dedicated To Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi, Second Edition

 

Excerpt from Chapter 15, Beyond All Doubt Is Jerusalem The Golden City.

1am, later that evening in the hotel lobby

​

There’s something very sort of primordial about this whole lounge area in this hotel. Every chair is filled with a God or Deity of some description, as if it’s Heaven. I seem to be wearing that Crown again and They seem to be pleased to have me here. And God, when I used to meditate, I used to feel I was holding the world in my hands, and for some reason that has come back to me right now. It’s as if I have the world in my hand and it just feels, I feel like I can’t move, I can’t think. My Sahasrara is really opening out and there’s this huge Angel with this enormous sword that seems to be protecting me at the moment. When we were walking tonight, the trees turned into swords, and holding the swords were these huge Angels, and one of Them is standing right behind me now.

​

Then all of a sudden there is a Puja happening. Mother is down at this end of the room and everybody is standing up and singing the Arti. (Abi says, Can you hear the music.) They’re singing the Arti.

​

Lots of things are happening now, people are moving around as if something important has happened, there’s a lot of activity. (Abi says, Can you tell me about the Garden of Eden.) It’s a bigger subject.

​

I don’t know really quite what happens, but I seem to be able to project Mother or my attention, or both, or something, into different places. I was just thinking of a friend of mine, and Shri Mataji is normally sitting in his sitting room, slightly to the right on his sofa. When I think of him or his house, Shri Mataji is always sitting there in the same position on his sofa. Then I just suddenly thought, I wonder how he is, suddenly he was sitting in the chair here with us. And what’s really strange, he is acknowledging me. And now another friend is here and they’re talking to one another and they acknowledge me. (Abi says, Can you speak to them.) I don’t know, I don’t know if I really want to, it’s not that I don’t want to, I’m just not quite sure what to say. I’ve just acknowledged them.

​

The ceiling opens up into Heaven and Mother’s Face comes peering down covering the whole ceiling, the whole ceiling is Mother’s Face. Now Mother is sitting in front of us in many different forms, Mother’s young, Mother’s staying young, Mother is like a teenager, lots of joy, sort of innocent, joy of a teenager who has come to sit with friends. Now suddenly, Mother is in the form of Shri Mataji, and I’m going to ask Mother to help me not have any doubts and not to worry about what I see and feel, and that I just have to accept it now. I want to accept it, I’m dying to accept, but I still keep worrying and doubting it and thinking people won’t understand, so I can’t say it. Mother is trying to tell me something, but I can’t quite understand what. Mother is shaking Mother’s Finger at me, telling me not to doubt, that I have no doubt. Now Mother is young again, happens very quickly, and now Mother is going to go. Some Angels came and talked to Mother very quickly and it happens like a split-second, talk and then Mother’s gone. Mother’s saying, “Carry on without Me now…” okay. Mother said to me Mother saw that doubt in my face and Mother said to take it away, don’t do it anymore, and it’s now gone quieter. Mother’s now back again, and I’m going to say yes.

​

I’m going to ask Mother if I can go deeper, if I can understand a bit more, and ask for more information, more inspiration, Divine Inspiration. Now, for some reason, I seem to be changing. (Abi says, There are two stages of changing, one I recognised before, something much deeper, his eyes went coal black, his profile fuzzy with vibrations.) I am now a part of Mother but a different part, a part I have never been before, so Mother, please take me even deeper. There is a sort of a huge way forward.

(Return to written notes...)

​

I am bowing at Shri Mataji’s Feet. I just want to feel humble right now. I am going to ask Shri Mataji for some Divine Inspiration, once again to take me deeper into this beautiful world, Heaven on Earth. Mother is asking Nick, is he ready. I am, Mother. I want to go deeper and I desire to be more effective to help Your Will, to do whatever I possibly can to strengthen my belief, my faith, my love for You, Shri Mataji. (Abi says, The vibrations are strong now.) Nick’s Kundalini came up in a way he’s never felt before, but he resisted, because he felt he was going to go completely. All I can feel are strong vibrations and I feel Shri Mataji is working on the whole hotel, the whole of Malaga and now even the whole of Spain. I desire Shri Mataji to take me deeper again, and I feel the last experience of my Kundalini coming up stronger is perhaps giving me new powers that will give me strength.

​

Heart’s opening, I can see the whole Universe in my heart, I can’t see anymore, room’s disappeared. We’re not here, can’t explain it, ceiling’s opening up into Heaven. Something is happening to my Centre Heart, it’s opening up, asked Shri Mataji to be fearless, for strength, not to be frightened or worried, to feel happy being back in this state, feels like I haven’t been here for some time. It’s been a big day now, goes to show, to prove, that we have to mix and be with people and enjoy the human race. After all, it’s God’s Creation.

(Abi says, My heart opened up completely now and then I saw on Nick a change.)

​

Suddenly, Shri Mataji leaves the chair and fills the whole room, the space is filled with Mother. This is a primordial experience, it’s above every aspect of human awareness. Desire, fill your heart with love, feel The Ocean of Nectar, beyond all doubt is Jerusalem, The Golden City. (Abi says, Nick is changing again, his face didn’t look human.) Mother is asking Nick to fly with Mother. I sort of feel like I’m doing it, I feel as if I’m travelling around the world, everything is about desire. But actually, in this state I’m finding it difficult to desire. It’s as though I’ve gone beyond desire, normal awareness, into a totally New Awareness where my perceptions and senses are definitely very different. So once again, I desire to go deeper. And I’m actually now inside Mother and I’m going into Mother’s Soul, can’t describe what’s happening. I’m going to ask Mother to take me deeper, Mother please take me with You. I can’t seem to do it though, there is an ounce of fear and the fear I can’t come back. Mother says, “Trust Me.” So Mother, should I come with You. I’ve gone. So Mother, I request to come with You again, I’m ready.

​

I went out through my Sahasrara a little way as though on a short journey, a new journey I’ve never experienced before. Then I went on another journey in the opposite direction, into myself as though I was part of the Earth, went to the centre of the Earth, something that went on and on inside myself, felt like the Earth. I feel like I want to stay in this state forever, perhaps. Perhaps because it’s so new I want to come out of it. I suddenly feel there are new powers, don’t know what they are though. I feel that all my Chakras are spinning very fast and I feel cleared out and light-hearted and cleansed all over. I don’t feel like I have any superego or ego. I am weightless in weightlessness, in a new time of space and energy.

​

I feel I want to ask Mother more questions about what I should do or shouldn’t do, is there anything You’d like me to do. Mother said, “Call Me, phone Me or keep calling Me.” I think Mother means phone Me, for some reason. This new state is Total Reality, all The Gods and Deities exist and The Gods are there to help us, and I feel realised souls or people wanting to take their birth, who are seated around Shri Mataji now. I am sure Shri Ganesha has come and sat out next to Mother, out of my Mooladhara Chakra, and wants me to dance with Him and play. I feel like playing so we’re actually dancing around the room holding hands. I ask Shri Mataji to clear my Agnya and the Agnya of Spain. Gosh, all I can feel is a New Awareness so heightened I could hear a pin drop in France. I feel part of Shri Mataji’s Body and I desire to be in Mother’s Heart. Mother’s Heart opens and I step into it, suddenly my Kundalini is really pushing into my stomach with a force I’ve never felt before. I ask Shri Mataji to help, this is the deepest experience, asking to go into a Higher Awareness, and I’m going now into a Higher Awareness. I feel like I don’t really exist and that my voice isn’t mine. Perhaps it’s good that the lights are not on. Should I carry on… I feel absolutely wonderful, I feel like I’m in a dream in a way. I feel a lovely warm soothing feeling in my stomach, soothed by The Kundalini, cool breeze blasting out of my head. (Abi says, I couldn’t see your face for a moment.)

​

I asked Shri Mataji if I was part of Mother and Mother said, can’t remember, I’ll ask Mother again, in other words. Mother’s manifesting, my Kundalini is Mother but it is manifesting in a big way. I feel as if I’m split in half. Huge fountain coming out of me, I can’t feel my head, the weight of anything, but at the same time I feel enormously powerful. I feel as though I’ve actually got there. I feel I’ve achieved a New State of Realisation, but of course I have to say I’d like to go deeper, to go with You, Mother, to go everywhere with You, to go... (Abi says, He’s gone now, now he really is changing.) I am now Mother completely. (Abi says, His whole face is formless, he’s enormous as if he’s expanding outwardly.) My face is changing into Mother’s, I have Mother’s Hair, Mother’s Hands. I am definitely Mother, can’t swallow at all, and now feel like I’m changing into every single Deity, every Chakra is popping, my whole chest is expanding. Once again, I’m going to ask for a bit more. I desire to feel You more, Mother, to understand You more, Mother, I want to be You, I want to be with You forever, I surrender to You in totality, I give up everything.

​

I feel like staying in this state forever, but at the same time I realise Mother needs me to be a normal human being. I really don’t feel very human at the moment. (Abi says, Nick has changed unbelievably.) No more doubts, how can I have doubts now. We’re just children lost and all we really want to do is to be in our Mother’s Arms again, but we don’t know how to get there so we put on the face of seriousness. So, I have to be here to fulfil this job that is to spread The Word, The Love of The Divine, and to experience Divinity beyond a shadow of a doubt, to express The Divine makeup to mankind, to help. (Abi says, Something very ancient about Nick’s face, not a face, but a power, can’t really describe it.)

​

The porter comes into the lounge and is wandering from table to table, switching off the lights. He turns out the light by our table and we are plunged into darkness, as if we are not there.

​

The next morning, I awoke from a beautiful sleep and we decided after breakfast to find the beach in Malaga. We spent a very enjoyable day watching the Spanish children playing in the water, and after lunch we decided to go back to the hotel. As we got closer to the hotel, I could see Mother standing on the roof, very still, silent. I wondered why Mother was actually on the roof, was it to show us where the hotel was.

Back in the room, Abi decided she wanted to sit on a sunny balcony, and so rang the reception to ask them if she could use another balcony. The receptionist replied, Why don’t you use our lovely pool on the roof. Abi screamed with joy and told me that there was a swimming pool on the roof after all. We both grabbed out towels and arrived on the roof of the hotel to find the most beautiful swimming pool with sunshades and lovely wicker chairs, with no one there but Mother and us.

​

We dived into the pool and realised that Mother does know everything.

 

 

 

 

The Absolute, Dedicated To Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi, Second Edition

​

Chapter 12, Mother

Wednesday 6th April 2011, West Sussex, England.

Recorded Live.

It is so important to have your attention on Mother and nothing else matters.  No matter how much you try to distract me, I can’t be distracted from Mother as my feelings come directly from Mother.

​

Your Spirit is telling you what you need to do every second, in every situation, but are you listening.  So, what happens is, as you become The Spirit, and you become more thoughtless, your Spirit grows, and then you listen to your Spirit as it guides you. Your Spirit then becomes your innate feeling of Truthful Reality.  It knows you and understands you far better than your mind, your thoughts and your ego ever could.  Anything outside of that Reality is an illusion.  You become completely normal, honest, sincere, and living in The World becomes much easier because you don’t judge people and you’re not worried about what people think of you.  Your Spirit is far better equipped to guide you through every aspect of your life, whether it be at work or home, because there are no confusing thoughts.

​

So, the more we become the Spirit, the less we identify with our thoughts.  That’s the power of your Spirit, and Mother is saying to me, “You’ve got to expand this now.  Then The Magnetic Force will become much stronger.  Then it’s very pure, it’s very straightforward, it’s very direct, it’s Real.  It’s The Absolute.”  There’s no, well, is it this or is it that, or should we do this or should we do that.  The Truth is clear and absolute clarity.

​

What we have to realise is we have to be ourselves living in reality and not letting our thoughts befool us.  The point is, we have to be realistic, and we have to be true to Mother.  Mother knows you inside out. You cannot befool Mother.  Mother knows all your little idiosyncrasies.

​

In 1990, Mother told me and a few other sahaja yogis, that Mother’s husband would destroy sahaja yoga.  We were shocked and we couldn’t believe that could ever happen, as Mother had guided us so beautifully for so many years.  The biggest mistake sahaja yogis made was putting Shri Mataji’s husband on the stage alongside Mother at Pujas.  This was totally shocking and absurd to me, why would anyone do that.  When Mother stopped talking, the sahaja yogis started thinking they should take decisions based on what Shri Mataji’s husband was telling them.  He then set up all of the committees, and this started all the confusion and arguing in sahaja yoga.  Mother was completely right.  This is exactly what Mother’s husband has done.

​

Friday, 15th April 2011, West Sussex, England.

Recorded Live.

​

Mother has been preparing me every step of the way, for the last twenty-one years for this moment now.  As Mother and I come together, my desire will change humanity.

Then I turn into Shri Ganesha and I feel myself as part of all The Deities. 

Mother is now saying to me, “You have become The Source.”

 

 

 

 

Freedom, Dedicated To Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi, Second Edition

 

Chapter 12 Presenting So Daisy’s Really Are Made In Heaven To Mother

Thursday 23 February 2012, West Sussex, England.  

Recorded Live.  

​

Today is the 23rd of February 2012, and it’s a year since Mother left The Earth and I feel it’s going to be a difficult day. As I sat down on my sofa tonight, Mother appeared on the sofa to my right, and Mother said, “Nick, you have to talk today, because it’s very important to talk about Me, The Adi Shakti.” It is hard for me to find the words to describe Mother today, and to describe this moment, because Mother means everything to me.   

​

I want to explain to you how my relationship with Mother is so incredible, so Divine, and so beyond. I want to take you back to my experience in the lounge of the Malaga Palace Hotel, Malaga, Spain.

Beyond All Doubt is Jerusalem the Golden City  

​

Chapter 15, Beyond All Doubt is Jerusalem the Golden City  

1 AM, later that evening in the hotel lobby  

I feel I want to ask Mother more questions about what I should do or shouldn’t do, is there anything You would like me to do, and Mother said, “Call Me, phone Me, keep calling Me.” And I say, I think Mother means phone Me. 

***

I realised when I got back to London, I should call Shri Mataji physically. 

Beyond All Doubt is Jerusalem The Golden City  

​

Chapter 21, Reflection  

Sunday 24th July, 1AM, Nick’s flat  

So I decided to call Shri Mataji at Mother’s House in Cabella, Italy, I was about to speak to my Mother, Shri Mataji. I can’t explain what that feels like. A sahaja yogi answered the phone and I said, Hello, it’s Nick Burrin, and he said, Just a minute, and Mother came to the phone. “Nick, how are you,” Mother said. Mother’s Voice is so incredible, so different, so beautiful, so soft, so gentle, so kind. And I said, Ah, Mother, it’s Nick. I’ve been having these incredible experiences, Shri Mataji, where I see You all the time. You’re sitting in my sitting room, I see You in the street, You sit in my car. And Mother said, “Yes, I am with everyone.” And in a way, I was slightly taken aback. And I said, Shri Mataji, I have been writing and recording all my experiences of seeing You, and Shri Mataji said, “That’s very good, you must keep writing your experiences down, keep writing. That’s wonderful. Good bye now.”

​

***

​

I realised how important it was, when Mother appeared to me in the hotel in Spain, telling me I should call Mother. After returning to London, and calling Mother physically, Mother confirmed that I should keep writing my experiences down.

​

So, in 1994 I started transcribing my experiences to turn them into a book. It took me about two years to complete the book and then I needed a title. Once when I was with Shri Mataji at Shudy Camps (Mother’s House in Cambridge), Mother asked me what I was doing, and I said I wanted to set up a music management company. Mother asked me if I had a name for the company and I said no, and Mother said, “You should call it Daisy’s, after Me, as I Incarnated as Daisy The Cow.” And that’s why cows are sacred in India. Mother would quite often ask people like her doctor to call Mother Daisy if they found it difficult to pronounce Mother’s name. So, I called my first book, So Daisy’s Really Are Made in Heaven.  

​

Then Mother said to me, “You need to explain why it was so important for you to present So Daisy’s Really Are Made In Heaven to Me in person.” After completing So Daisy’s Really Are Made In Heaven in the summer of 1996, I felt I should present the book to Mother. I heard Mother would be arriving in England at Heathrow Airport in a few days’ time. I had not spoken to Mother personally for two years, except when I called Mother at Cabella and told Mother about my experiences. I decided this could be an opportunity to present Mother with So Daisy’s Really Are Made in Heaven. The morning Mother was arriving in England, I placed the book on the passenger seat in my car and drove to Heathrow Airport. The vibrations were just incredible. I felt this was a very important moment in my life for all of us.

​

I parked my car in the multi-story carpark and decided to leave the book in the car because I wanted to make sure it was the right moment to present my book to Mother. I made my way to the terminal where Mother would be arriving. There were about 500-600 sahaja yogis all waiting to greet Mother. As Mother came through the terminal, it was decided that we should all gather in the carpark and chairs were provided for Mother and cp to sit on. Then people would individually present their flowers to Mother.  

​

At that moment, I felt it was the right time to present So Daisy’s Really Are Made in Heaven to Shri Mataji. I ran back to my car and got the book, and by the time I arrived back at the car park, the last person was presenting Mother with their flowers. I quickly made my way through the crowd of people, realising I would be the last person to go before Mother. I knelt before Mother, putting the book in my right hand. Mother took So Daisy’s Really Are Made in Heaven out of my hand. I then felt Mother reading the title, So Daisy’s Really Are Made in Heaven. Mother looked up and smiled at me. Then Mother slowly opened the book and started reading. Then Mother turned another page, and another page, and another page, and Mother took Mother’s time to slowly read from the book. And Mother just kept reading and reading. The Vibrations were amazing, I had never felt Vibrations from Mother like this. I felt Mother was changing from Shri Mataji into The Adi Shakti, into God, in front of me. Then Mother closed the book and looked straight into my eyes and said “Nick, at last not somebody writing about sahaja yoga but writing about God.” Mother then held the book up in Mother’s Right Hand and said, “This book will be published.” I realised Mother had been waiting to receive So Daisy’s Really Are Made in Heaven to read my experiences with Mother and The Deities as God, as Mother had said.

​

Eventually, I published So Daisy’s Really Are Made in Heaven in 2010. What’s amazing and important about the book is that it can be read by anyone. The book is about all my amazing experiences with Mother and The Deities appearing to me in all the different places I visited in the summer of 1994. After I presented Mother with So Daisy’s Really Are Made in Heaven, Mother would appear to me on the sofa in my living room and I would read the book to Mother and The Deities aloud.

​

So Daisy’s Really Are Made in Heaven is the first time The Truth About God has been explained so clearly for everyone to read.

 

​

 

 

Heaven Before Life And Life Before Heaven

 

Excerpt from Chapter 8, Abandonment.

Saturday 28th June 2014, West Sussex.

Recorded live.

 

Total freedom is like swimming in the sea. That’s abandonment, when you’re swimming in the cold sea. Such a good word. Mother said it’s a word I need to use in this book, abandonment.

 

It also means the idea that Humanity is abandoned in existence and it must find its own meaning. So Mother gives me a word which describes what this book is about. Isn’t that amazing? An idea that Humanity is abandoned in existence and it must find its own meaning, meaning that we have lost our connection with God, which of course in Reality it’s not, but the ego makes us separate. So I need to describe this.

 

Abandonment in an emotional sense means undesired, left behind, insecure and discarded. So there are many meanings of this word that Mother wants me to realise. That’s what I’ve got to do, to make sure that people don’t feel like this. And the only way to cure this is through Love.

 

I have never said this in the previous books, but Mother will give me a word, and from that word I realise what it is I need to realise for everybody else, and also to make them happier and more secure. And this is a very typical example of how Mother uses the English language to help me find the exact meaning that Mother is looking for, of which sometimes there are many meanings.

 

So I would say that people feel like they need to find the meaning of their lives and many people within the system that Mother created, feel undesired, insecure, left behind and discarded. Of course, I am are here, and as Mother has said, Mother will get the books to the people that can understand them. So my desire is that people don’t feel abandoned anymore. I thank Mother for this beautiful way to show us how it works.

 

 

The Truth

 

Excerpt from Chapter 34 Journey.

 

So, what I am going to say today is probably the most important words I have spoken. And although I have said these words within the books already, I want to make certain things very, very clear. And that is, Shri Mataji said to me in the autumn of 1992, “You need to go on your own and meditate and relate to Me and Me only and nothing else matters.”

​

I have said these words so many times within the books. In 1993, I left Mother’s side and I went off into the world on my own, with nothing, no job, no money, nowhere to live. All I took with me were a few personal belongings, my Black and White Photograph of Shri Mataji, my hand carved statue of Shri Ganesha. I took nothing with me from the past, no ornaments, no books, no clothes, no presents that I have been given by anyone. I knew in my heart, if I did what Mother had said, I would realise Mother and the Deities and myself.

​

One year later, after doing exactly what Mother had said, in the spring of 1994, whenever I desired, Mother would appear to me, as I have described within the books.

​

In the spring of 2007, Mother appeared to me and said, “You have to come and work for Me full-time.” From then on, Mother has appeared to me on a daily basis, and in 2010 I published So Daisy’s Really Are Made In Heaven, and then in 2011, I published Beyond All Doubt Is Jerusalem The Golden City, from the original recordings of the summer in 1994.

 

 

Silence

​

Excerpt from Chapter 13 My Birthday.

Saturday, 14th May 2016, West Sussex, England.

Recorded Live.

 

This is the day of my birthday.

Mother always shows me what has to come next. And for me, the feeling of what I feel right now is just immense, is incredible, it is the most beautiful feeling that anybody could ever wish for. The Deities are here and they are offering me presents, and this is what The Deities want, this is how The Deities want Me to be now. It is a step up for everybody and I know that everybody will accept it because they will want to, it’s harder for me to accept but I have to accept your love, because if I don’t, then what’s in store for us can’t manifest. I have to accept, and I felt Myself, My Feet, going into Mother’s sandals.

 

As I move forward, there is a gravity created and everybody will want to feel and become part of it. I have to walk forward now and take my position, but I have to accept the combination of Nick Burrin, of Myself and of Mother. As soon as I say this, once again, my Armies are on either side of me (Nick’s arms open to either side of him) and all the Deities are taking Their Place in my Sahasrara, as a Crown of Deities. Oh My God, I wondered why Mother wore a Crown. It should not be a crown that we created made out of jewels, it is the Crown of the Deities, that is a True Crown. I realise why I said that I am the King of my

being. Now there are hundreds of Angels, either side of me, it’s difficult to explain.

​

​

Nick Burrin